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Weld Found: a new podcast

Friends, I’ve started a podcast. It’s called Weld Found and is about belonging in an age of social isolation and disconnection.

Since February I’ve been recording and editing and scoring. And now just this month the first couple episodes are being released.

The work of creating it has been so much fun and very meaningful, too. I’m asking questions like, “What does it mean to connect and truly belong to the area where you live?”

Since I’ve been here in Greeley, CO I’ve lived somewhat in a bubble. I’ve got my friends who all enjoy similar things and believe similar ideals and we’re mainly in similar places in life… along with that comes my Facebook and Twitter where I have great connections, but they are definitely the same types of echo chambers.

So this is a step into getting to know the place where I live. And become a better connected part of my community.

But I’m wanting to tell these stories in such a way that those of you who don’t live in this particular area can still deeply enjoy them. Because I know many of you are asking these same questions of “What does it mean to belong better to where I live?”

You can subscribe and listen in iTunes or Google Podcasts. Or just stream the first episode below. Thanks for listening! I hope you love it.

-Tim Coons
Giants & Pilgrims

March 2019 Desktop Wallpaper

It snowed another three inches in Colorado today, but I have been getting that gardening itch in my fingers. I am so ready for those first glimpses of green! This month’s wallpaper is inspired by/features antique garden plans from France. I’m hoping to plan out my own tiny garden soon. Happy March!

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both. I make a couple different ones so that you can use what works best for your device.

iphone wallpapers:

February 2019 Desktop Wallpaper

Some days you need a sunrise. Or sunset? You decide.

And warm lighted windows welcoming you home from the cold.

Love you friends! Enjoy!

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

 

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both. I make a couple different ones so that you can use what works best for your device.

iphone wallpapers:

 

January 2019 Free Desktop and iPhone Wallpaper

Happy New Year!! Can you believe it is 2019 already!? Thanks for sticking with me, friends. Seeing these desktops on your screens is what keeps me going 🙂 By the way I am planning on keeping the format of these post about the same this year, but please tell me if you have any requests or changes! I make them and then send them off into the void, so I would love your feedback.

This desktop wallpaper is a little tribute to 2018 while at the same time celebrating fresh starts and new beginnings. There is one element from each of my calendar pages from 2018 hidden in the black and white images to the left all leading into a fresh blank canvas. Can you find all 12?! Enjoy!!

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both. I make a couple different ones so that you can use what works best for your device.

iphone wallpapers:

December 2018 Desktop Wallpaper

Happy December friends! Here is delicate and bright wallpaper for your month.

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both. I make a couple different ones so that you can use what works best for your device.

iphone wallpapers:

 

October 2018 Desktop Wallpaper

 

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills,
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Sweet October is here my friends. The days are darkening, the spooks are out, and the leaves are shifting. Enjoy this walk into the dark woods!

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both.

iphone wallpapers:

 

“There are different kinds of darkness,” Rhys said. I kept my eyes shut. “There is the darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful.” I pictured each. “There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good.” 
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

September 2018 Desktop Wallpaper

 

The first of September is one of my favorite moments of the year. There is this subtle but tangible shift from Summer to Autumn. This wallpaper was made by overlaying several antique landscape engravings on top of one another – creating this beautiful but subtle translucent effect. To me it is an illustration of that movement from one season to the next. The delicate folding and unfolding of a year.

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both.

iphone wallpapers:

 

July 2018 Desktop Wallpaper

My little poetic line for this month is simple. Just something I read while heading to a hike in the mountains.

“Linger Longer”

 

That’s it. “Linger longer” friends.

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

A Song About Anxiety

I don’t want to sensationalize the story, but I want to be truthful in how it felt. 

Last year in May, Betony was admitted to the emergency room for the second time that week. We were at a loss as to what was going on and we were really damn scared.

It started earlier in the month, where she would feel a sensation that was hard for her to subscribe. Often this would come on at night as we were going to bed. It was like a quickening of the heart or like she was falling. At least that’s how she tried to describe it to me. Then she’d shake violently for 20 or 40 minutes after the rushing feeling left her. This was also accompanied by really dark thoughts, uncharacteristic for her.

She didn’t think it was anxiety, because her mindset really wasn’t in a place of feeling overwhelmed or mad or anxious. So was it her heart? Or some strange sickness we hadn’t placed?

Like I said, we were damn scared and symptoms were getting worse rather than better.

And during that second visit, the emergency room doctor, an eccentric personality mix of kindness and blunt force, sat down with us. He told us all the tests had come back clean again for this second time- heart, blood work, thyroid, etc. It all looked fine. So we have to consider anxiety. He said it several times. We HAVE to consider anxiety.

Betony was upset at this. Anxiety felt like a non-answer or catch all. In that old show “House”, the brilliant doctor would figure out what strange disease the patient actually had… the colleagues he outsmarted always thought it was lupus. A designation of anxiety felt like a sloppy, semi-educated guess of “lupus”.

In the same way I don’t want to sensationalize the story, I also don’t want the following to feel prescriptive either. What is working for us might not translate for someone else’s anxiety symptoms. But I want to share our process of the last year.

My wife approached the diagnosis as scientifically as possible. She gave the different medicines they prescribed trials and tests. She settled on a beta-blocker and half a sleep aid at night and took both of those for about 3 months. 

She also read everything she could about anxiety; what is known and what is being discovered and followed the threads she trusted. Ideas she found helpful, though may in the end NOT be proven scientifically, she held loosely to see if results followed.

One of these ideas is that perhaps her anxiety was attached to a fight or flight scenario. In this season of life she’s raising four kids and one is a baby who sleeps lightly at night and she also is a part time artist and is also homeschooling…

That’s a full life and there are moments of intensity that can happen. These moments can trigger the brain in ways we don’t fully understand yet. For example, driving all the kids home from Denver by herself and two of the kids are screaming for an hour and it’s past everyone’s bedtime, including her own. If the brain goes into crisis mode and sends adrenaline and other chemicals to her muscles and systems… there has to be some negative effects on body and brain in these scenarios. 

So alongside her medication she’s also been working out a little more, getting her heart rate up in case there is extra adrenaline or other things happening in her body she needs to move through. And perhaps this helps with the shaking as well.

With medication and working out we also added counseling. For Betony’s personality this was difficult but good. (That could probably be counseling’s tagline- Difficult but good.)

Since August of last year she went off of medication and has not been symptomatic. She’s had some rough days, but for the most part things have been better thus far. And at the very least we’re out of that place of deep fear.

Now, Betony is an immensely private person. We haven’t really shared this story publicly on social medias, though we’ve talked about it with friends and family and church communities.

We offer the story now alongside a song. While working through this season together, Betony and I were surprised at just how many stories of other people suffering from anxiety came to light. It remains fairly mysterious and scary and unexplored. It can come across like a catch all or a diminishing of something that is truly happening in our brains and bodies.

As I processed all of this I wrote this song called “Settled Down”. So we offer this story alongside this art for a since of solidarity. We hope you find the conversation we’ve offered helpful and open and caring.

[bandcamp width=100% height=120 album=2556327130 size=large bgcol=ffffff linkcol=0687f5 tracklist=false artwork=small]

Pre-Order Bellwether now and receive the single “Settled Down”

Lyrics for “Settled Down”

I’ll keep my hand here on your back
I won’t move it while you sleep
The shaking hours have settled down
Take all the help that you need

I put it on just like an evening dress
Parade to the right, sway to the left
In the morning everything is spent
And I make my way back home

What the wires couldn’t catch
Fails to give a certainty
And the world stirs around
On the edge of all you see

We can put blankets under the leaves
We can fill pages and keep on the dream
I set a good table, take all that you need
I can set more if you come back to me

We can keep sleeping, be late on the rise
We can stay novel with every surprise
I set a good table, take all that you need
They all remain open, you see what I mean

We will blur edges and rid every cage
We will push candles and feel every blaze
We set a good table, take all that you need
We set a good table, take all that you need

We will see colors that wonder and burst
We will raise glasses that rid every thirst
We set a good table, take all that you need
We set a good table, take all that you need

You put it on just like a hiding place
With three separate acts, that ends in disgrace
In the morning everything is safe
and you make your way back home

I put it on just like an evening dress
Parade to the right, sway to the left
In the morning everything is spent
And I make my way back home

February 2018 Free Desktop and iPhone Wallpaper

This year I am following the theme “Migration” for my desktop backgrounds and sharing a piece of writing or poetry that inspired the image.

This months wallpaper speaks of blankets piled high, snuggling in for the night under layers of stitches, and of tiny footsteps migrating in the dark hours, coming in to find warmth and safety in your arms. The arrow patterned quilt is called “Migration” or “flying geese.”

For the desktop, click on the image below to view the large size image.

The Hundred Names of Love by Annie Lightheart

The children have gone to bed. We are so tired we could fold ourselves neatly behind our eyes and sleep mid-word, sleep standing warm among the creatures in the barn, lean together and sleep, forgetting each other completely in the velvet, the forgiveness of that sleep. Then the one small cry: one strike of the match-head of sound: one child’s voice: and the hundred names of love are lit as we rise and walk down the hall. One hundred nights we wake like this, wake out of our nowhere to kneel by small beds in darkness. One hundred flowers open in our hands, a name for love written in each one.

For the iphone wallpaper, navigate to this page on your phone and then click and hold on the image you want. Select ‘Save image to camera roll’. Then from your camera roll set your home screen/lock screen or both.

iphone wallpapers: