Here’s to your health!
You make age curious,
Time furious, and all of us envious.
The health of the salmon to you:
a long life, a full heart and a wet mouth!
To your good health, old friend,
may you live for a thousand years,
and I be there to count them.
-Robert Smith Surtees
Success attend St. Patrick’s fist,
For he’s a saint so clever;
Oh! he give the snakes and toads a twist,
He banished them forever.
Who’d care to be a bee and sip
Sweet honey from the flower’s lip
When he might be a fly and steer
Head first into a can of beer?
Ale’s a strong wrestler,
Flings all it hath met;
And makes the ground slippery,
Though it not be wet.
Here’s a health to the future;
A sigh for the past;
We can love and remember,
And hope to the last,
And for all the base lies
That the almanacs hold
While there’s love in the heart,
We can never grow old.
May you enter heaven late.
Come in the evening, or come in the morning,
Come when you are looked for, or come without warning,
A thousand welcomes you will find here before you,
And the oftener you come here the more I’ll adore you.
Here’s to Dan Cupid, the little squirt,
He’s lost his pants, he’s lost his shirt,
He’s lost most everything but his aim,
Which shows that love is a losing game.
Here’s to fertility-
the toast of agriculture and the bane of love.
I drink to your charm, your beauty and your brains-
which gives you a rough idea of how hard up I am for a drink.
I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.
Say it with flowers
Say it with eats,
Say it with kisses,
Say it with sweets,
Say it with jewelry,
Say it with drink,
But always be careful
Not to say it with ink.
The love you give away is the only love you keep.
Eat, drink and be merry
for tomorrow you diet.
May you always have red-eye gravy with your ham,
hush puppies with your catfish,
and the good sense not to argue with your wife.
-Toast From Tennessee, quoted by Timothy Noah in the New Republic
To Mom’s cooking:
May my wife never find out how bad it really was.
To soup: May it be seen and not heard.